I have been putting off writing this because I feel like I have so much to say after my own SheerExperience.
As a boudoir photographer myself, you’d think I felt cool and confident going into my shoot, I mean I do this for a living right?!- but that was not the case. When I booked, I was newly pregnant after 11 months of unexplained infertility which was only 48 hours before we started our IVF process. I had a lot of hatred and ill feelings towards my body. I felt like it had failed me up until that point.
Throughout my pregnancy I had quite a few complications and scares. I actually ended up delivering early only 10 weeks following my shoot because I was so sick. Not to mention loosing a few family members only a few days before my session. I walked into my session with a very cloudy headspace- honestly ready to be severely disappointed in myself because like I said- I felt so much hatred towards my body and just the world at this point.
Walking into the Sheer studio is like walking into a family home you didn’t know you had.
Brian and Jen are like the big brother and sister you didn’t know you always wanted.
And your SheerExperience is the experience you didn’t know you needed.
I have always, and I mean ALWAYS found every single flaw I could with myself the moment I see a photo I am in. Instead, during my reveal I cried happy tears. I was able to look at myself from a perspective that I never had and never knew I needed to see. I saw a strong and capable mom. Someone who has overcome so much I could seriously write a book about it; I saw someone I hope one day my daughter will be proud of.
I was so afraid of being disappointed that I was not emotionally prepared to be blown away.
I ended up getting very very sick and delivering 3 weeks early and again felt as though my body had failed me and I had failed as a mother.
My daughter is now 11 weeks old and a beautiful and strong little girl and every single time those feelings of failure come flooding back- I open up my album and remind myself that the girl on those pages is ME!
My entire life is dedicated to making others see the beauty in themselves but I have never been able to give that to myself.
My Sheer Experience gave me that.
It gave me the most perfect gift that keeps on giving- it gave me a new outlook on myself and so much self love.
You can not put a price tag on what my session meant to me.
I owe Brian and Jen so much for allowing me to finally start healing <3
Do the shoot.
xoxo
Janae
