I didn't know how to love myself...

Okay, here goes. I've always wanted to do a boudoir shoot. It was on my bucket list. However, my insecurities always got the best of me. My life has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Awful and toxic relationships. I have always struggled to feel "good enough." I looked for validation in other people. Always feeling like I needed another person to feel whole. No matter how that person treated me. I didn't know how to love myself. They don't teach us these things in school.

Anyway, last September, my wife and I and our young twin girls moved to South Carolina to start a new life. Or so I thought. While living there, I was isolated with my children while my "wife" went to the police academy for 8 weeks. After she graduated, I found out she cheated weeks prior while still attending the police academy. Between that, prior abuse mentally and physically, and other forms of cheating I finally decided enough was enough and I got my kids and myself out of the situation and back to Ohio around all of our support system. 

I have been cheated on many times before, and we all know what that does to a person mentally, but this time was different. Instead of beating myself up wondering why I wasn’t good enough, I reminded myself of how far I've come mentally, emotionally & physically. I was angry instead of sad. But I didn’t want revenge. I had two little people watching me now and I needed to show them different. I needed to be stronger than I ever have been. And while I still struggle somedays, I think I'm doing a damn good job despite my ex constantly trying to knock me down. Soon after coming back to Ohio, I got my job back that I had before moving. A job I absolutely love I might add.

One day while working, a co-worker told me about a special that Sheer Photography was doing. I immediately booked a session and said "girl, it's your time now!" Cheesy right? My first encounter with Jen was a little awkward because well, I think we're both a little awkward lol but I wasn't nervous. When the day came for my shoot, I was nervous walking in. But oh so excited. Jen and Brian made the whole experience so comfortable. Normally, I would never walk around in any kind of sexy outfits. Even a bathing suit made me uncomfortable in the past. But I was determined to strut my stuff and show myself how incredibly beautiful I truly am. With the help of Jen and Brian, I accomplished that. At my reveal, seeing my photos made my jaw drop. I think I even said, "is that really me?!" I was so proud of myself!! I still am. This shoot helped me in ways I could never fully explain. So thank you Jen and Brian! You are two truly amazing people. 

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